Dear Friends,

The news of my situation is getting out quite rapidly now, so I thought I would send out a note--especially since some of you may not have heard as of yet. Most of you know that I have been dealing with a serious hip problem for some time. Every time it promised to get better, something would happen and the problem would still be there. In ways it has been getting worse--especially my ability to stand for long periods of time or walk even moderate distances. Finally, my doctor decided to get me some more tests and I was willing because nothing seemed to be fully healing the hip.

The doctor ordered a bone scan for me last Tuesday. The technician commented that there was a problem in the hip but could not tell me what. They got the doctor's office to do some x-rays the same day. I was supposed to have seen my doctor this Tuesday, but got a call from the office on Monday that a CT scan had been ordered for me and I had that done Tuesday. My doctor's appointment was changed to Thursday (yesterday).

Yesterday, the doctor told me that they had found a tumor in my hip 6cm wide and 12cm long (about 2 1/2 inches by 5 inches). Also, my pelvic bone and some surrounding bones had been eaten away. My pelvis has been so weakened that the doctor wants me to start using crutches so that I will not break it by walking on it. The problem is clearly a serious case of cancer. Beginning today, I will start taking some more tests to determine what kind of cancer it is. The doctor thinks it is probably either renal cancer or multiple myeloma. From my initial research, it is clear that both of these are quite serious forms of cancer. It is hard to say that either would be better than the other.

In pursuit of the identity of the cancer, I will have an ultrasound on my kidney later this morning--as well as blood and urine tests. On Monday, I will get a CT guided biopsy of the tumor. This coming Wednesday, I will meet with my doctor once more to see where we go from here. [By the way, I am sorry for all the boring detail, but some people want it and I thought I could get it to several people at once this way.]

I do not know how to explain it apart from the Lord, but I have quickly received complete peace about the situation. I have always lived my life on the assumption that anything that happened to me totally apart from my own actions was automatically the will of God for my life. This assumption has always served me well. Why worry about those things that I truly cannot change. Therefore, I am convinced that this is of the Lord for His good.

I have certainly not lived my life for the Lord as I should have, but I have not sat on my hands either. If this is the beginning of the end and the Lord is going to call me home, then I will accept His decision and beat a bunch of you to glory. However, if this trial is one I am to go through so that my Lord might get the glory and so that I might be transformed into a better servant for the Lord, I am also willing for this to occur. I recognize that in the middle of some of the treatments or times of dealing with pain that I may not hold firm in this conviction, but I have a God who will abide faithful even in those times when my faith fails. Though it may sound strange, I in a real way feel honored that the Lord would allow me to go through this trial for His sake. It is not persecution, but it is in the midst of a time of service for Him.

I certainly desire your prayers for all the regular things--healing, strength, etc. However, I want to request some other prayers from each of you. Pray with me that God will use this (no matter how it turns out) so that He might be glorified and so that His works might be manifest in this situation. I desire that we and others would be amazed at what a wondrous God we have. Pray also that God would use this experience so that I might know my Lord as I have never known Him before--to know the living God and to see His power and glory; even to know Him through the fellowship of His sufferings. Finally, pray that the Lord would use this to teach some who count a bit too much on me to count mostly on God; to learn of His sufficiency.

I hope that I have not filled your mailbox with information you did not want. Also, I want to assure you that I am primed for a battle for my life and the ministry the Lord has for me here. To some small degree I understand Paul's quandary when he was a "strait betwixt two." To depart and to be with Christ is far better, but there are needs of service to others that make me want to abide in the flesh for a longer time. With time, I am sure that the Lord will clear up the confusion. I will just trust in Him the best I know how for now. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. If God's people can be so good to each other down here, what a glorious blessing heaven will be! Keep on keeping on for Jesus.